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| Vivi-Mari Carpelan: "The Impossibility of Sleeplessness and Damien Hirst isn't exactly making it any better" copyright 2012 |
I wanted to do something with my abstract photography for Project X, but I sat for an entire day wondering what the heck to do with it. Eventually, having looked through a lot of imagery that could be used and found a photo we took for something Martin wanted to do a couple of years ago, this is what came about. It then occurred to me that it was very obviously about insomnia. The sense of walking a thin line or trying to balance my existence like a tight rope dancer when my medication is failing is imminent. When I mentioned "the impossibility" to Martin, he said oh be careful, that's what Damien Hirst has called a lot of his stuff. I thought that's excellent, yet another thing to lose sleep over! I mean his success, his money - and I'm not feeling any enormous kinship with his art, haha. In case it's not clear yet, my reference is ironic, if even sarcastic.
"In a general sense, this piece is about the fear of a sudden fall into a state of despair and depression, and how difficult it is to remain balanced and “on top of things”. More specifically this piece is about insomnia, which in severe cases involves constant threats of medication not working any more, while one is being pumped up with habit forming medication in the first place. It's the fear of going insane with severe cognitive and physical impairment and with physical flare ups due to lack of sufficient good quality sleep... and never getting any really useful help from the medical establishment. On top of this there's the sleep schedule which always goes wrong, ie. something disturbs one's routines and tips the wagon so you end up sleeping/dozing/lying around well into the afternoon and always feeling the day goes by while you're simply useless. Managing a condition that happens when you're not looking, is like walking a tight rope, knowing you could fall any time. This piece is part of Project X. When I thought of the name including the word "impossibility" it became a reference to titles by Damien Hirst and his rather (in my mind) undeserved financial success."
"In a general sense, this piece is about the fear of a sudden fall into a state of despair and depression, and how difficult it is to remain balanced and “on top of things”. More specifically this piece is about insomnia, which in severe cases involves constant threats of medication not working any more, while one is being pumped up with habit forming medication in the first place. It's the fear of going insane with severe cognitive and physical impairment and with physical flare ups due to lack of sufficient good quality sleep... and never getting any really useful help from the medical establishment. On top of this there's the sleep schedule which always goes wrong, ie. something disturbs one's routines and tips the wagon so you end up sleeping/dozing/lying around well into the afternoon and always feeling the day goes by while you're simply useless. Managing a condition that happens when you're not looking, is like walking a tight rope, knowing you could fall any time. This piece is part of Project X. When I thought of the name including the word "impossibility" it became a reference to titles by Damien Hirst and his rather (in my mind) undeserved financial success."
All the photos are my own except for that of the bird.
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