SUCCESS OR HOW TO MAKE CREATIVE THINGS HAPPEN

Vivi-Mari Carpelan: "Emotions 1-6", six handmade collages 12x17 cm

So here's the scenario: you feel discouraged and disheartened, not knowing what to do next. It seems as if everything is against you and you are losing faith not only in other people but in yourself as well. You feel stuck and uncreative. Personally, I have been in this place many times. It's almost as if each time it gets worse, but this could be evolution in action. Challenges get tougher as you learn from life, but the rewards you reap are probably also greater. Thing is, life is naturally dynamic, and this means there are always ups and downs throughout the journey. I find it helpful to think of it as the inhalation and exhalation of life itself. When you're in a phase of inhalation, you will feel more introspective and maybe even depressed. The point is to not fight this, but go with the flow. If you resist it, you make it harder for yourself. 

Artists are people who may feel these mood swings and roller coasters much more poignantly than others. People in creative jobs easily get distressed when they're in a low phase because it feels as if they can't produce anything worthwhile. The feelings of vulnerability easily make them feel victimized and as a consequence, they blame others for a lot of things rather than assuming responsibility in a more "grown up" sort of way. The darker aspects of one's being might come out and one will be a less pleasant person to be around. The way that depth psychologists who specialize in creativity theories explain this is that you are more submerged in your subconscious mind and the reason you cannot produce quite so well is because mental material is in a state of brewing. Don't panic, this phase is necessary. If you look into yourself you will probably find that you're battling with problems and feeling conflicted about many things. There is often one major issue to deal with but it usually connects with other more minor issues. You need to let it all go on for as long as it needs to go on.

Let this be. Don't panic, don't force yourself to be something you're not. At the most, be positive in the sense that you know this will pass, and that consciously dwelling on things is not necessarily of any use. I find talking to Martin useful, as it sometimes speeds things up a bit and makes me feel clearer, as well as helps him understand what's going on and why I'm acting the way I'm acting. But trying not to whhine and winge too much is better for yourself and everyone around you. Keep in mind that clarity will come when the time is right.

Then suddenly, one day, you have reached a decision - maybe even a major one. Time and time again, I find that reaching a decision about what direction I want to take is the turning point. I don't think there are any real short cuts to this. This is usually when you come out of your shell and start acting. You will no doubt be more extroverted than normal, which will enable you to communicate with other people about your ideas and your direction. In fact, just chatting to people about whatever happens in your life can lead to unexpected turns of events. Very often things happen indirectly, in a mysterious way that is not really of your own making. You're just being open and actively putting yourself out there. You feel more in charge of your own life, but don't make the mistake of thinking that you can control it. Control is not the point, and there is a very important distinction between the two. I think one of the keys is that you stop putting your destiny in the wrong hands and decide what kind of people you want to interact with. These people will then be the right ones who facilitate your journey. It's always a two way street so you really must avoid manipulating or forcing other people to make things happen for you. Luckily at this time and age people have woken up to the advantages of networking. I certainly feel that real, profound and honest interaction with others can be quite fruitful. It's about a balance between being self-sufficient and acknowledging the need for other people. The truth and fluidity of being is a paradox somewhere between the two ways of being.

When you overcome your own prejudices and expectations of life, you often end up choosing the path of less resistance. I think it's important to remember that there are often alternatives, and when we cease to stubbornly hold onto a particular path, it turns out there is an easier one which is much better for you. This is my experience, anyway. 

It's interesting how inner decisions will lead to greater flow and how things just start to happen. It probably feels great. During this phase, it's useful to be outgoing and generous. I'm not saying it's a ride without any bumps. But if you follow your intuition - and this is of paramount importance - you will probably finally achieve some important goals on your journey. By goal I don't mean an end, but rather a milestone. It won't last, because it's not in the nature of reality to be stable. Embrace the changes that will happen in one way or another, and enjoy the rush while it lasts!

P.S. These are my own thoughts but there are two classic books by Mihalyi Csiksztentmihalyi, "Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience" and "Creativity: Flow and the Psychology of Discovery and Invention" that you might like to read if you're interested in the subject matter.

A COLLAGE ABOUT INVISIBLE ILLNESS "X"

So I finished the big collage that has been featured piece meal in previous blog posts. I was really hoping to create an arresting image of life with a chronic, but fairly invisible illness. Realizing that most people wouldn't be very interested in my personal experience, I hoped to create a general atmosphere that many other marginalized people can identify with, and possibly others with some empathy and brains.

What my message really boils down to is feeling neglected and bypassed by society, but there is also a strength in being able to have an outsider's point of view. As usual, I have hoped to express a paradox or double message of suffering and alienation but also strength of character and a possible insight into the deeper layers of life. People with disabilities are not just weak individuals. Very often illness can teach them lessons of life that other people can only dream of (if they care, that is). Of course, it's a sign of a civilized society that it takes care of its weaker individuals. But our society still has a long way to go. It needs to stop bickering over power and border issues - these tend to go round in circles as that which is being destructed has to be mended. It needs to start focusing on the real needs of its members and those who are healthier and wealthier obviously need to take more responsibility for the whole.

"X - Surviving in the World of the Fitter" (56x76cm) Vivi-Mari Carpelan copyright 2011

Second version of the picture above... an attempt to make the figure a bit less "in your face2,
especially as there are some issues with it that I don't know how to fix.
I also wanted to tie in the top bit with the lower bit a bit more.

"X" stands for many things. X marks a spot - this is where the problem lies (it's invisible to the viewer so must be marked with a sign). X is an unknown denominator (in mathematics x is commonly used as the name for an independent variable or unknown value) - often when it comes to physiological problems, the causes and effects are not known or well defined and even diagnoses can be elusive. X signifies a multiplication operation - physical symptoms have a tendency of multiplying over time as one thing leads to another. X has crossed something off or out. X-rays reveal physiological disturbance invisible to the eye. X can replace the signature of someone who is illiterate - this could symbolize the inability to fit in. In some countries (such as Finland where I come from) X is commonly used instead of a tick in a box - I tick all the boxes for someone who is crossed out of society, for instance.

There are also the X-files, which are not open to the general public due to their abnormal nature, and X-rated i.e. censored material which is also available only to the chosen few or those who especially choose to partake in this material. During the plagues, X's were drawn on the doors of those afflicted with it. "Shunning someone like the plague comes to mind...".

But most of all, X is an abstract sign that points to a concrete phenomenon.

As I'm sure anyone can see, the bottom half (from which the figure is more or less cut off for better and for worse) only comprises men and some animals. I decided to omit women in order to stress that we are still obeying patriarchal values and that they obviously don't work very well. However, I would say that people in general are responsible for the state of society and it would be false to portray only high powered authorities as responsible for the chaotic state of affairs.

In reality there are so many social issues to make art about, but it's not easy to find a visual language that is precise without being trite and banal.

This piece has now been sent off to be evaluated by a panel of (as far as I can tell) high powered curators for the Oriel Davies open art exhibition nearby. They ask for an artist's statement of no more than 100 words. I don't know whether it's a good thing or not. Sometimes I think it's useful to have to compress my intentions, and I'm sure it's easier on the judges too... I find that I need to rewrite my statement each time I enter something, because my focus always changes even if it's ever so slightly.

I have now decided to see what I can gain from going with the flow, i.e. find a way of practising art as a disabled artist. It has been a hard decision to make, probably because there is no such thing in Finland unless you have severe learning difficulties... In which case we're not really talking art but therapy (in most cases anyway). However upon some research (which often happens in the form of asking around, and I cannot stress enough how well this works over here) I have found that there is a niche for anyone who is marginalized by society whether it be due to mental problems, physical health problems or financial problems.I joined a gallery called Outside In which is precisely for the promotion of work by such artists, and it looks like there are exhibitions you can enter for free. This is very good news and one of the advantages of living in a big country like the UK. Charities abound. It's a bit strange and different but it's just as well to get used to it. I have also found out about something they call "surgery", a meeting for disabled artists to discuss their projects and needs for funding (as all of it is so much harder for those who lack in health). I am now a member of Disability Arts Cymru. What I am really hoping is to find the route of least resistance, and being able to relax a little rather than trying so desperately to keep up with the healthy lot.

Vivi-Mari Carpelan, a Finnish artist resident in Mid-Wales, has created symbolic images since 1991. Afflicted with a chronic illness since childhood, it comes naturally to her to explore emotional issues of belonging versus not belonging in a society mostly designed for people with wealth and health. Her work expresses paradox, as a fundamental and crucial characteristic of reality. While ill health and alienation are linked with shame and helplessness, these can also give rise to strength of character, deeper insights into matters of life and death, and the advantage of a more objective viewpoint in regards to society at large.

"Ephemeral Ways" (60x60cm), my second entry, created with real ephemera found in a derelict house in Kansas, and my own photo of an old graveyard with European immigrants. 
Copyright Vivi-Mari Carpelan 2007