WHAT ARE THE REAL REASONS FOR THE ART I'M ENGAGING IN NOW?

Vivi-Mari Carpelan: "Your Indifference is Breaking My Heart", copyright 2012.
Read more about this piece in my previous blog post.

Why do I make the kind of art I'm doing at the moment? What's behind the desire to get social messages across, and why am I much less interested in expressing spiritual viewpoints? 

I found at some point that spiritual interests just weren't taking me any further. I felt I knew what there was to know and so further investigations and research just wasn't that interesting any longer. I became increasingly concerned with the way things really are in the gritty reality I am in, and this was all up to a certain maturation. It became a question of finding something that worked better for me in relation to society at large. In fact, I feel that as I've gotten older I've started to have a greater desire of real integration into society, and this is mirrored in what I do.

Rather than engaging is solipsist ideals about another dimension I am asserting a place within this dimension. It also means that my art work is not always pleasant, because I am expressing questions about whether I really have a place in society or not... I can now see that my art had to take a turn in this direction. I can no longer avoid the burning issue of my role in society as such, and it also means that I am sometimes having to be assertive and confrontational. I think that when I was younger, I thought I could carve out a niche all my own without much regard for the rest of the world. That just doesn't seem possible any more. My relocation to a larger society has thrown the questions of what society really is straight in my face... I cannot turn away the way I used to do when I was in a familiar and much less extensive environment.

My work is certainly not without a certain spiritual background, but there is no need to make it obvious. It's just there... I miss it's more pertinent presence a little - I miss the comfort of thinking about those things for hours every day and the ease with which I was making friends because we could share those thoughts. It has all changed and nothing is that simple any more.

I'd like to be a spokesperson for all those who are chronically ill and therefore chronically fatigued, but I can't really be one unless I engage them in my art work. I have been thinking about this; with support from the Arts Council I would have tried to do this. At the moment I am nonetheless quite content with just expressing my own feelings. Doing research outside of myself would have been quite tiring, and the truth is I haven't had a great deal of energy to spare. I may eventually do something on a smaller scale - we'll see. I would probably also have had to do more of my photography because that seemed to interest the Arts Council (perhaps because it was easier for them to comprehend). At the moment I'm quite content just taking photos as the opportunities come along and keep collecting a body of work. Provided I got an ink jet printer, printing it all out would be a huge job, again something quite exhausting. I would like to eventually, but maybe now is not quite the right time for a big exhibition of photography. I rather wait a little, and see...

As for my collages, well I'll give it another year and see if it takes me somewhere or not. If not, then I have to assume that it's just not meant to, and continuing to stress over it is only harming myself. I will tuck away a lot of my older art for the moment so I don't have to keep seeing it. I don't suppose I can stop being creative but I can stop trying to get it all out there.

Vivi-Mari Carpelan: "In Flight", digital photograph copyright 2012